Major Payne’s Pet Menagerie: Direhorn Runt
June 13th by Crithto

A few months ago, I heard rumors of a secret club of knuckleheads who liked to round up large, ferocious beasts into a corral and try to ride them like ponies. Fools—their outfit didn’t last two days before most of them were gored, maimed, or waiting to get fitted for a wooden peg leg. Looks like the bears got to them before I could!

In honor of their stupidity . . . err, tomfoolery . . . err, courageous efforts, I’ve collected a handful of superior warriors like myself to create our own club: The Direhorn Expert Riding Professionals Syndicate. Whatchu giggling at, tamer?!

Uhem. So the club travels to the Isle of Giants every Thursday to lasso a few direhorns, climb on top, and see who can ride theirs the farthest without being plucked off by a devilsaur. So far I have the highest score as I dictate this while still encircling the island. You know it!

Sadly, some of these three-horned dinosaurs end up too exhausted to let someone else take a turn, and it’s up to you to clear them out. Before you start crying again, let’s hear what the Prince of Fezzes has to say about your potential reward.


Crithto: As you slay the lazy dinos that can’t keep up with Major Payne and his merry band of rodeo clow. . . .

Watch it, pug!

Crithto: . . .Er, Major Payne and his army of vicious death-bringers, you have the chance to receive the Direhorn Runt. Before you fall victim to its adorable face, just know that a combination of Stampede and Trihorn Charge is sure to remind you what an ugly defeat looks like. Taming one, however, will give you a way to stand resilient against any opponent by using Trihorn Shield and Horn Attack. Just don’t try to ride one around the Isle of Giants, as you’re bound to aggro every single prehistoric monster alive.

Now, I understand the temptation to ride a wild direhorn like I do will be difficult to avoid, but I’m telling ya, a tamer like you would just be begging for a hole in the head. Thankfully, you have access to tame versions to ride, should you get it together long enough to earn one. For the time being, though, you need to move on out to the Isle and get the place set up for next Thursday. MOOOOOOVE IT!!

Come join the discussion about this pet in our Pet Battles forum. You can also learn more about the Direhorn Runt by visiting

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